I’m one of the people you are talking about here. I got in my own way while on the tenure track, and mostly didn’t submit my work. But my life is far from ruined, and my career is doing quite well, thank you, because it turns out there are many amazing things that one can do with one’s life outside academia, and failing the tenure track is an actually ok thing to do.
What’s notable to me as a person who has experienced this set of behavioral problems more than I think most people commenting here have is how much this has been *not* a generalizable experience after I left academia. I have no trouble being productive at work, happy, and self confident, nowadays. I don’t procrastinate and don’t ‘fail to submit’ - whatever it is that would be a corollary in my role now. In other domains and professional contexts I am actually good at doing stuff. Which after years of feeling like a failure/ruined/worthless in academia… was a real surprise.
I think there is something notable about this. Why does academia produce this behavior so much more than other contexts and careers? I understand the desire to blame the person/their choices, and to look within, but I think it’s actually more complicated than that.
A related thing on my mind lately is the term "executive dysfunction" which has been described to me as when you know you should do a thing, and you *want* to do that thing, but you can't seem to make yourself do it. Once I read that description I started to see it everywhere, even though I'm avoiding mirrors as best I can.
I suggest creative procrastination. When I am in this state, I forbid myself from doing anything that doesn't count as work until I do the thing I'm avoiding. That gets lots of jobs done. Here's some more advice along this lines
CN Lester talks about 'cheating on your work with other work', meaning that its amazing how much you get done on Project B if you make working on it your go-to way of procrastinating on Project A. This maxim does require the two projects to be dissimilar, which is fine for CN who has a million different talents.
wonderful essay. I think the danger of avoidance is that it can actually take on many different pernicious forms. In my field, one of the most common career killers is to start new projects without finishing old ones.
I'm not in academia, but this psychology and self-"nerfing"* is very familiar to me. So familliar, in fact, that it's me. In fact, this blog post is also me, counseling other people (and myself) how to overcome perfectionism and fear of failure and avoidance and just get something done even if it's not good. I've done it plenty. Good enough is good enough. Life is iterative; you do something, then you do it again a little better, then you try it a slightly different way and it might be better, then you meet someone else and you just do it again even though it's not new, but it's new to them. Eventually, it's a big success. Or it's not. But it's very very very very rarely a true failure. In any case, it's better to get started now, with what you have, than wait and hope you'll get better or find the decisive, brilliant insight, etc.
Life IS iterative. Especially creative or novel work! "In any case, it's better to get started now, with what you have, than wait and hope you'll get better or find the decisive, brilliant insight, etc." aaaabsolutely right.
This is great and really makes me want to revisit my unsubmitted JMP (but I probably won't). In my defense, I have lots of other stuff that I am submitting.
This is unbelievably good and important stuff.
awwww paul!!!! thank you <333
I’m one of the people you are talking about here. I got in my own way while on the tenure track, and mostly didn’t submit my work. But my life is far from ruined, and my career is doing quite well, thank you, because it turns out there are many amazing things that one can do with one’s life outside academia, and failing the tenure track is an actually ok thing to do.
What’s notable to me as a person who has experienced this set of behavioral problems more than I think most people commenting here have is how much this has been *not* a generalizable experience after I left academia. I have no trouble being productive at work, happy, and self confident, nowadays. I don’t procrastinate and don’t ‘fail to submit’ - whatever it is that would be a corollary in my role now. In other domains and professional contexts I am actually good at doing stuff. Which after years of feeling like a failure/ruined/worthless in academia… was a real surprise.
I think there is something notable about this. Why does academia produce this behavior so much more than other contexts and careers? I understand the desire to blame the person/their choices, and to look within, but I think it’s actually more complicated than that.
A related thing on my mind lately is the term "executive dysfunction" which has been described to me as when you know you should do a thing, and you *want* to do that thing, but you can't seem to make yourself do it. Once I read that description I started to see it everywhere, even though I'm avoiding mirrors as best I can.
I suggest creative procrastination. When I am in this state, I forbid myself from doing anything that doesn't count as work until I do the thing I'm avoiding. That gets lots of jobs done. Here's some more advice along this lines
https://johnquiggin.com/2013/11/25/how-word-targets-help-creative-procrastination/
CN Lester talks about 'cheating on your work with other work', meaning that its amazing how much you get done on Project B if you make working on it your go-to way of procrastinating on Project A. This maxim does require the two projects to be dissimilar, which is fine for CN who has a million different talents.
from a workin person perspective - that what managers for.
As an Econ PhD dropout who has been trying to finish everything I start as of late, this was a great read! I'll be subscribing now lol
Thanks Arthur, I'm glad :) !
wonderful essay. I think the danger of avoidance is that it can actually take on many different pernicious forms. In my field, one of the most common career killers is to start new projects without finishing old ones.
yeah, this is the main way the problematic avoidance is masked, 100% agreed
This was... wow... really hard but helpful to read.
Hi Jon <33333 How lovely and special for me to hear from you. Sorry it was a hard read but am glad it was helpful.
I'm not in academia, but this psychology and self-"nerfing"* is very familiar to me. So familliar, in fact, that it's me. In fact, this blog post is also me, counseling other people (and myself) how to overcome perfectionism and fear of failure and avoidance and just get something done even if it's not good. I've done it plenty. Good enough is good enough. Life is iterative; you do something, then you do it again a little better, then you try it a slightly different way and it might be better, then you meet someone else and you just do it again even though it's not new, but it's new to them. Eventually, it's a big success. Or it's not. But it's very very very very rarely a true failure. In any case, it's better to get started now, with what you have, than wait and hope you'll get better or find the decisive, brilliant insight, etc.
* Nerfing? What is that?
Life IS iterative. Especially creative or novel work! "In any case, it's better to get started now, with what you have, than wait and hope you'll get better or find the decisive, brilliant insight, etc." aaaabsolutely right.
to "nerf" is to weaken or render ineffective :)
This is great and really makes me want to revisit my unsubmitted JMP (but I probably won't). In my defense, I have lots of other stuff that I am submitting.
you dont have to submit everything :) you just have to submit.... most
Great advice, applies to writers, poets, artists, etc. as well!
Such a great read. Thank you.
Really enthusiastic about your use of nerfed and smoked. Soothing and practical advice, in general
thank you :)
Loved this.
Thanks very much :)
You clocked me a couple times in this essay! Great read! Definitely coming back to this one
Thank you for commenting!! :)
Ha hah! It me!
“Nerfed” -- that’s good!
Somehow I keep reading your stuff, and thinking yes! I need to read more of this lady. And then I forget. And I’m reminded again this morning.
Aw, thanks Karl!!